The Ups and Downs of Falling for Your Enemy
by Deserted Eternity
Summary: When you fall for your arch enemy, things can get messy. Especially when you both are determined to kill each other, and when the author can't write a proper summary. LxLight Yaoi, some citrus in chapter two.
1. Denial

**Warning: If you have something against men making out with men, don't read. Though with L and Light, how can you go wrong? –grin–**

**Rated for language sorta, and for Light and L getting a bit… frisky.**

**It follows the plot after Light is released from confinement, but since yours truly thinks the plot went down the drain after L dies, there's a different ending, so slightly AU? Whee for L not dying!**

**And if you haven't read vol. 7 or after of the manga, I just spoiled it for you. Sorry. XD**

**No telling how long this will be, since only about half is actually written. The chapters will probably vary wildly in length, due to my erratic Muse.**

**Anyhow, I'ma shut up and let you lot get on with reading.**

* * *

"You got it, Ryuzaki! Let's catch Kira together!"

"Yes, I'm pleased to be working with you." L smiled his cute little smile at the computer screen, though from his seat in the back of a car Light couldn't see him. Well now, what was that little flutter of his heart when Light had made his comment?

_Bad form to develop crushes on your suspects, fool._ L chided himself. _You don't even know if he's the type to like you back._

Light pulled a face, tugging at the chain half-heartedly. _What a pain, being chained to Ryuzaki._ Light sighed slightly, then glanced up at L. _Then again, it may not be so bad…_

He had yet to tell anyone that he was gay. Wasn't the sort of thing an eighteen-year-old brought up in casual conversation easily. Even his own family didn't know.

_Well, if Ryuzaki is straight, I won't have a chance anyway! _He stopped himself before a resigned sigh could escape his lips and turned to Misa, who was muttering darkly under her breath.

"Look, Misa…"

Misa turned her wide eyes on Light and pouted. "Light, you tell him! Dates won't be any fun with this pervert watching!"

"Who said anything about dates?" Light said with some amount of alarm in his tone. The _last_ thing he wanted was for her to think…

"But… but…"

Light winced slightly. _Great, a chick has a crush on me. That's just gross…_

L watched Light's reaction curiously, but remained silent as Light was spared further torment by Aizawa showing Misa to her room. Interesting, very interesting. Even if a normal young man his age weren't attracted to Misa, L didn't think he'd reacted quite like Light just did. A tinge of hope entered his heart as the possibility became real.

However, he reminded himself that no matter what he hoped, it might just be wishful thinking. _Even if he isn't completely straight, there's no guarantee he'll even like me. Let's face it, he probably dislikes me for keeping him confined so long and chaining him to me like this..._

* * *

Several days went by reasonably uneventfully, as L slowly lost interest in the investigation.

_What's the point? We're back to square one! It looks like I was wrong… but how could I be wrong? All the evidence pointed to Light and Misa! There was even that two-week period after Light was confined where the killing stopped! The power could be passed from person to person, and once that happens the user could forget. In fact, that's very likely considering what we've seen so far, but knowing how clever Light is, he may've set it up so that the power returned to him…But whatever happened then, there's a new Kira abroad. If the power can be passed to someone else, this whole investigations seems like an exercise in futility, because as soon as he catch one Kira another one crops up and the one we catch stops being Kira!_

Light glanced over at L, his brows furrowing slightly at L's glum expression. "What's with the depressed look, Ryuzaki?"

L sighed heavily, wrapping his arms around his shins. "This whole thing seems like a snipe-hunt to me, by now…"

Light frowned irritably. "Oh, not again. Do we have to get in another fist-fight?"

L's lips twitched up slightly. "That was fun, actually. I'm curious to see which one of us would win."

"If our tennis match was anything to go by, I'd win." Light smirked.

"A lucky shot." L waved one hand.

Light snorted slightly, the smirk turning into an odd smile that L didn't fail to notice as he gazed out of the corner of one eye at the younger man. They both turned back to what they had been doing before: Light looking for more information on Kira while L killed time.

* * *

"Ryuzaki. I know you're not into this, but come over here for a second."

L turned curiously, bracing one hand on Light's shoulder as he peered at the computer screen.

"Take a look at this. Look at the changes here, and look at this sudden growth."

L's face lifted into an excited smile, a spark of enthusiasm entering his dark eyes once more as the gears in his agile mind whirred into action. Light saw the renewed resolve in L's expression, and couldn't suppress a grin. When he smiled like that, L's face was transformed.

_Ah, no no. Dammit! _Light tried not to stare, tried to push the thoughts of how L's usually languid face became oddly attractive if he just smiled.

Though his eyes were fixed on the information Light had pulled up on the computer screen, out of the corner L noticed that Light's cheeks flushed a faint shade of pink before he turned away.

_That settles it, _L thought with a tinge of smugness. _He's not straight, and he's got a crush on me. _L wasn't sure whether to be elated or hesitant. The one very small part of him that actually listened to his emotions was jumping for joy, but the rest of him was uneasy. Light still could be Kira, even if he wasn't currently aware of it. Was it so wise to even contemplate a relationship with a man you suspect of being a mass murderer?

_Screw it! I don't even know if it's more than just a minor infatuation and will pass soon, so I'd better just wait and see if Light does anything._

* * *

**Please read and review while I work on the other chapters! Hope you like it so far.**


	2. Embrace

After everyone had drifted off to either their suites within the building or back home, Light and L remained at the computer screens

After everyone had drifted off to either their suites within the building or back home, Light and L remained at the computer screens. Light tugged at the chain, pulling L back to reality from the screen he'd been staring at.

"What is it now?" L said, tugging back with a comical pout.

"Do you ever sleep?" Light pointed to the digital clock set into one screen, pulling a mock-despairing face.

"According to the others, no." L remarked sarcastically, stretching his arms upward.

"Well, there are other humans who do actually sleep, and this one happens to be attached to you, mister insomniac." Light retorted, jingling the chain for effect.

"Sorry," L said, unfolding his legs from their customary position tucked into his chest.

Light rolled his eyes. "Sure you are. I don't know how you manage to stay awake as long as you do!"

L shrugged, reaching over to turn off the monitors.

"It's probably all that sugar you eat," Light remarked, poking L's ribs. "I'm surprised you aren't fat given that you're almost always eating sweets."

L pouted indignantly. "It helps me concentrate!"

"Yeah, sure. Just like sitting all hunched over like that helps you think?" Light said scathingly. "You're gonna have back problems when you get older if you sit like that."

L shrugged. "What can I say? It is what it is."

"Not to mention," Light said, a mischievous grin curving his lips, "something like this could happen, when you sit like that…" He gave the chain a sharp jerk, pulling L and his swivel-chair careening into his own. The two chairs collided, dumping both of them into the floor. Light landed on his back, with L on his stomach draped on top of him.

Even if this had been his intention, Light's face still flushed with blood as he found himself on his back staring into L's face and his dark eyes, now wide in surprise. L's mouth twisted slightly as his own cheeks colored slightly.

"Judging by your expression, I think I can assume that you're not straight," Light said with a sly grin.

"Bi, but you might as well call me gay for all that I look at women most of the time." L replied with a sigh. "You got me."

Light smiled triumphantly, hooking his arms around L's shoulders. "Well, that's a relief. It would've been embarrassing to have a crush on someone who doesn't like men."

L allowed himself a soft chuckle and let his head drop slightly, resting his brow upon Light's forehead. "Hmm, and it would've been embarrassing to have done that to a straight guy in the first place."

Light smirked. "Heh, yeah, but I guessed right this time, eh?"

L quirked an eyebrow. "It's not like you to make wild guesses…"

Light shrugged, a coy smile curving his lips. "True, but I was afraid I'd go nuts if I didn't at least find out if I had _any_ chance with you."

L smiled back, though his smile wasn't as enthusiastic. "Well, now you do. And if we weren't in the middle of an investigation to catch a mass murderer, I wouldn't hesitate to start a relationship with you, Light. But right now, we can't afford to be distracted."

A resigned sigh escaped Light's lips. "I agree, but that doesn't mean we have to pursue a relationship during the day. While the others are here, we can work. But once they leave and when normal humans have given work a rest for a few hours anyway," Light poked L's shoulder with a stern frown, "we can relax a bit. Working like this can't be good for you, Ryuzaki, and though I haven't mentioned it it's been hard on me."

L winced, lifting his head as he propped one elbow up. "I know Light, but we're chasing Kira here. You know just as well as I do that we can't lose focus. Kira could slip through out fingers if we get sidetracked."

"So like I just said, we can concentrate on catching Kira during the day when we've got the other members of the task-force here helping out. And when the others are gone we can have a life. You're too stubborn, Ryuzaki. The rest of us don't have the same one-track mind you do, and we like to at least think that we have lives."

L chuckled, his tone the closest to contrite Light had ever seen. "Point taken, Light. But…"

"No buts!" Light said sternly, poking L's brow. "You're human like the rest of us, and so long as I'm stuck with you," he rattled the chain slightly, "I'll make sure you don't work either of us to exhaustion! You _will_ have a life, whatever life we can have cooped up in here, whether you want one or not."

L feigned a grimace and pushed himself up, levering his torso upright while he remained straddling Light's hips. "I'd say you're just as stubborn, Light Yagami!"

Light smirked, pushing himself into a sitting position as well. "You've got me there, Ryuzaki." He leaned forward, closing his lips over L's mouth. L froze for a moment, eyes widening in surprise, though when one of Light's hands cupped behind his head and the other arm wrapped around his shoulders, the touch broke the spell. He just managed to save the wreckage of his train of thought from toppling over a cliff, though a moment later he gave himself up to the kiss, leaning into it with a luxurious sigh.

* * *

Eventually L's hand pushed Light away, however much they both wanted to remain like that forever. Light pouted cutely as L stood, swinging one leg around so he was simply standing next to Light. The younger man stood as well, inclining his head to one side. L snorted softly, a slight smile on his lips. "Don't give me that look."

Light couldn't stop a grin. "You're no fun."

"That's as may be, but you were the one who suggested that I sleep like a normal human." L replied.

Light shrugged slightly. "True, true."

L turned and headed toward the adjoining room in the suite he'd been sharing with Light since they were cuffed together; the room that served as private quarters for them both. He rolled his eyes, stopping as he peeled Light's hands from his hips with a mock-resigned sigh. "You don't give up, do you?"

Light kept himself plastered against L's body. "Nope!"

L pulled away from Light momentarily, turning around so that he faced the younger man. Light knew what was coming. L was still hesitant about a relationship because of the case, but Light could tell that his resolve was shaky.

"If I wasn't inwardly as eager as you are, Light, I'd be able to say 'no,' but –" L managed not to smile as Light cut off the rest of his sentence by simply planting his mouth over L's. He wrapped his arms around Light's waist as the younger man rested his hands on L's hips.

They stood like that until neither of them cared how long it had been, holding each other close as if they feared to let go. Eyes closed as both L and Light abandoned themselves into the kiss, lost in a world that contained only the two of them. Time lost its meaning, and nothing else existed but L and Light.

* * *

Light pulled back briefly, running his tongue softly over L'd bottom lip. Obligingly L opened his mouth, allowing Light to slip his tongue into his mouth, running it over the older man's teeth and gums. L surprised Light by quickly gaining the upper hand over the younger man, but Light was disappointed when L pulled back slightly, his dark eyes opening and fixing an inquisitive gaze on Light's face.

"Is there a problem?" Light said with a smirk.

"You never cease to amaze me, Light." L replied with a slight chuckle.

"Whaat?" Light said with a look of comical injured innocence.

L rolled his eyes, pulling away as he turned around. "You're a hypocrite. You go on about how I should sleep more and then you deliberately hold up the process of actually going to bed…" He trailed off as Light's hands slid down his sides, the tips of his nails lightly running down his ribs until they reached the hem of his oversized shirt. Light's fingers curled under the hem and slowly moved up, pulling the shirt from L's torso. The older man shuddered in delight, the shirt catching for a moment on his shaggy mop of unkempt black hair before it parted company with him and Light's arms curled around his bare torso.

Light's lips brushed L's jaw and neck as he pressed against L's back. "You've got me there." He whispered, his warm breath whispering over L's cheek tantalizingly.

L tried to ignore the abrupt palpitations of his heart, leaning his head back and twisting it, so that his pale lips hovered a fraction of an inch from Light's now-flushed cheek. He spoke into Light's ear in a voice that was no more than a breathy whisper, "I hate to bring this up, but even if I don't look it I'm several years your senior. You just turned eighteen, didn't you?"

Light pulled a face of mock-innocence. "What? Ryuzaki, where was _your_ mind?" He chuckled.

"The same place yours was, I'm sure." L retorted, his lips curling up in a sly smile. Light pouted cutely, and stepped away. L could almost sense the conflicting emotions coming from the young man – hesitation and shyness, but also a burning desire. L felt sorry for him, as Light turned his back and proceeded to start unbuttoning his shirt. He was still a bit short of breath from their encounter, and he could easily tell by Light's still flushed face that he was too. _Screw it. I'm not much older than him, and he's technically an adult._

When Light felt L's slim frame pressing up against his own, when L's hands slipped around his waist and began deftly unbuttoning his shirt for him, he let out a heavy, shuddering sigh that was half groan to accompany the shudder that raced up his spine. He curled his fingers over L's hands and brought them back down from the collar of his shirt as the last button came undone. He leaned into L's deceptively strong, lean body, a smirk lifting the corners of his lips. "Now whose mind is where?"

L didn't bother replying to the question, which was in his mind rhetorical whether Light had intended it to be or not. It was rather obvious at that point where both of their minds had been going.

L twisted his head to one side slightly, brushing his lips along Light's jaw playfully. As he neared Light's chin, the younger man tilted his head so that he took full on the lips what was intended for the corner of his mouth. Light pulled away a bit, only to turn so that he fully faced L. He felt L's hot breath wash over his face, at least until he extended his head forward and clamped his mouth demandingly over L's. The older man pressed himself against Light's taller, more filled-out frame, returning the kiss with a demand of his own. He'd long since given up trying to keep hold on his train of thought – it had gone over a cliff quite a while ago. Not that Light's mind was on anything but the adrenaline rushing through his veins, his wildly beating heart, the heat that had spread from his face to his groin; and the lithe body that was plastered to him that wasn't helping matters one bit.

As their lips parted slightly to gasp in a quick breath, Light's tongue slipped out, caressing L's lips again. The older man smirked but allowed him entrance, and this time he didn't hold back or pull away.

When it became too much, Light let a strangled sound escape his lips. _Aah, fuck it._ He shifted his weight back abruptly, catching L by surprise and causing them to overbalance, tumbling down onto the bed in a flurry of tangled limbs.

L disengaged his mouth momentarily, quirking an eyebrow. If Light hadn't noticed the flicker of arousal dancing behind L's usually expressionless eyes, he would have been fooled by the mildly amused expression L had adopted.

"Are you _that_ determined?"

Light grinned wolfishly, one hand laced in L's shaggy black hair pressing the older man's head down so that their lips were crushed together again. This time, L was the one who slipped his tongue into Light's mouth after he opened it to breathe, and Light quickly got one up on the older man.

Abruptly L found himself with his back pressed into the bed, and Light's hands fumbling with the button of his jeans. An uncharacteristic grin spread over his face as L's dark eyes flashed, though Light's larger frame pinning him down stifled whatever he'd been about to try. The younger man's heavy, hot breath washing over him sent a shiver up his spine.

To say that neither of them actually went to sleep that night would be false, but only just. They finally dozed off just a few hours before the first fingers of dawn-light reached up from the eastern horizon to banish the night.

* * *

The alarm set on the bedside table bleeped incessantly, stirring both L and Light from their brief slumber. Light turned over with a groan, poking L in the ribs.

"Aw'ight, all right…" L grumbled, reaching up to smack the alarm's 'off' button. He sat up with a yawn, stretching languidly. He glanced over his shoulder at Light, who seemed to have gone back to sleep. With a mischievous smile, L leaned over the younger man. "Oh Liiiiiiight…!" He said in a sing-song voice. All he got in reply was an incoherent grumble as Light tried to burrow farther under the covers.

L slipped his hands under the blanket, running his fingers lightly over the younger man's bare midriff. Light uttered a cute _meep_ and sat upright, doubling over and folding his hands across his abdomen. L chuckled, watching Light twitch a few times before he recovered.

"It's not fair. You aren't ticklish." Light said, scowling comically at L.

L smiled slightly, before turning to lean over the edge of the bed and pull his discarded clothing up. Light deftly flicked the chain around and clambered over L to get off the bed, poking around in the small chest of drawers he'd claimed as his own for clean clothing. "Who's taking first shower?" He said, tossing the shirt and pants he'd chosen onto the bed.

The rattle of chains and a soft _clink_ answered it before L spoke. "I am." Light suppressed a resigned sigh, gazing ruefully at the handcuff that now chained him to the bedpost while L slithered off the bed and headed toward the bathroom.

"Leave me some hot water," Light called. L waved absently in acknowledgement before closing the bathroom door. Light let out the sigh he'd held back, collapsing back on the bed.

_This is depressing. Here I thought he might actually start to trust me, and yet he keeps me chained like a dog. I can't blame him entirely though. Hell, I've even been suspecting myself. _Light winced, sitting upright with another soft sigh.

L soon reappeared from the shower, still dripping wet with only a towel wrapped around his hips. Light tried not to be distracted. _Why does he have to be so damn sexy?_ "Your turn," L said, removing the cuff from Light's wrist and keeping an eye on the young man until the bathroom door closed again.

He was dressed and mostly dry by the time Light emerged from the bathroom, shaking his head like a dog, spraying L with water. L smiled slightly, grabbing his own towel and roughly scrubbing at Light's head with the less damp part. Light protested weakly, but soon subsided with a resigned half-smile. "Having fun?"

L's smile widened as he finished drying Light's hair. "Yes."

Light rolled his eyes and went to get dressed, yelping as the water-soaked towel flicked his rump. He turned, narrowing one eye at the innocently smiling L. "All right, if that's what you want. It's war now." He dressed quickly, trying to ignore L's playful distractions.

Then he abruptly turned, twisting his towel into a whip with a wolfish grin. L was ready for him, and they spent a few entertaining minutes dancing comically as they tried not to be hit by the flailing wet towels.

L heard a few noises from the other part of the suite that acted as the investigation hub and signaled Light to stop. "Work time," He said, tossing his towel into the corner. Light followed suit, extending his wrist with a long-suffering sigh for L to chain him back.

The fact that he'd left it off for so long gave Light a bit of hope. Even so, the handcuffs clamped back over his wrist, the chain jingling tauntingly as L opened the door and led the way out of the bedroom.

* * *

**Here ends the part that I had at least partly typed up before I published it, so the next few chapters will be a while in coming.**


	3. No Thanks to You

**Sorry this took so long, the real world infringes upon my time.**

* * *

Light chuckled to himself as the helicopter blades thundered, carrying them back to L's specially-built building that doubled as housing and a task-force headquarters. Higuchi had just been apprehended, and to the puzzlement of everyone but Light he had abruptly suffered a heart attack and died. Did Higuchi do that to himself? Was there another Kira who killed him? Or was it just an eerie coincidence? None of them knew, except for Light.

He glanced out the helicopter, his eye caught by a flash of white. Rem was gliding along in the helicopter's wake, following them. The two members of the task-force that had touched the notebook, along with L and himself, would see the shinigami.

It was annoying that the two others had touched the notebook, since now the whole task force would want to be able to see the "monster," but that couldn't be helped. It was nothing more than a minor annoyance, really. Everything else had gone so smoothly it was almost scary.

Vaguely, Light wondered how Rem would react if she knew about Light and L's relationship. Hmm, here was the first obstacle, Light realized. L knew, well, that Light was about as straight as a rainbow. So he couldn't use the excuse of, "after all this time I guess I have developed feelings for her" to be able to contact her. The others would be convinced, but L would be immediately suspicious.

_This relationship has become a bit of a bother. _It could be to his advantage in ways; L had begun to trust him a bit more, so maybe once they'd had a good look at the notebook, he'd have to back off the suspicion. Even so, it was going to make things interesting.

The fact remained that they had started the relationship in earnest, and Light still had those feelings; in no way diminished. Which meant that even though his plan to kill L would go on, it would be very difficult for him to go through with it.

The idea flitted through his mind to give up his plans. He would lose his memories again, and stop being Kira. The mastermind would be no more (this time with no plans to regain it), and no one would be the wiser. He could be with L to his heart's content.

_That is unacceptable._ He'd worked so hard, shoving it all down the drain for one man was out of the question. Yes, he loved L. But that didn't mean that L could stand between him and his goal. Everyone had to make sacrifices. He'd sacrificed a lot so far – in the beginning his peace of mind. And probably bits of his own sanity, one small part of Light's brain commented. This would be just one more sacrifice, to make his dream of a perfect world a reality.

_This will be the hardest sacrifice,_ Light realized, looking over at L. But it had to be done.

* * *

L sighed heavily, the chain that linked his wrist to Light's rattling noisily as it fell from their wrists. Now the young man was free to come and go as he pleased.

Earlier he would have been resigned, but probably more than ready to get that blasted chain off. But since the two of them had become to close, he didn't want to ever remove it. Light looked relieved, but when the others were facing another direction he shot L a face that made it clear that he wasn't too happy about it either.

It was good that Light had his freedom back, but the others would expect Light to move away. Granted it wasn't completely unexpected when Light said he'd stay on the task force and take up residence in a suite in the building as a few of the others had, but that was the closest the others expected Light to willingly be to the man who'd kept him chained for so long.

Once they'd settled back to work for a while before the commuters left for the night, Light leaned over L's shoulder and whispered, "We'll make it work somehow."

* * *

Misa said a tearful good-bye to Light, and soon afterwards Kira started killing again. She dropped by every now and then, demanding to see Light. L would smile slightly at the young man who would roll his eyes with a long-suffering sigh and comply to Matsuda's indignant command to go humor the girl.

"You may not like her, but look at all she's done for you! You need a love life anyway, Light. You're free but you stay cooped up in here most of the time."

Light was slightly surprised that this actually worked. Granted, if he really didn't want to see Misa he would dig his heels in and refuse to go down no matter what Matsuda said, but the ruse was working so far and he had no intention of doing anything that could hamper what he was doing.

One night after the others had drifted off to their respective quarters and Light was hanging back, L confronted him. "You've said before that you have absolutely no interest in Amane, and you detest leading other people on. So, why do you keep going down there? Matsuda is an idiot, and you know well enough that by going down there to her you just make her think you care."

Light winced slightly. "I know, I know. Even if I don't like her that way, and her clingy- ness creeps me out, she's head over heels for me, Ryuzaki! If I told her that I'm gay and didn't have any desire to be more than friends, she would be broken-hearted! You've seen it, you know. I'm not entirely sure she wouldn't do something drastic like commit suicide if I told her."

_That should keep Rem complacent, too._ Light thought with a mental smirk. L blinked once, then shrugged. "Well, if you say so."

* * *

"_Ryuzaki,"_ came Watari's voice from a computer screen. _"The agency you had me contact to test the notebook has sent word back."_

The others glared irritably at L. He ignored their accusing gazes. "What did they say?"

"_The prisoner wrote down another inmate's name on the scrap you sent, and the inmate whose name was written died."_

"Good. How long ago was this?"

"_Just over two weeks."_

"What happened to the prisoner who wrote the name down?"

"_He didn't die, even when they left off the execution two days. They told me in their report that a few hours ago they performed the execution themselves, even though it had been fifteen days since he wrote the name."_

_Shit._ Light tried not to go into an irate rant and joined the others in glaring at L.

"Ryuzaki, you said you wouldn't test the notebook!" "Yeah. What in the world was that?!"

L held up his hands in a disarming gesture. "I am sorry to have mislead you, but I wanted to test it for several reasons. I wanted to see if one piece of paper torn from the notebook worked, which is obviously does. I also wanted to see if just anyone can use the notebook, which apparently they can. I was thinking over those rules, and the two in the back made little sense. If it is Kira's notebook, he can give it to someone else, so it makes no sense for him to up and die thirteen days after giving his notebook away. Pointless! Also, it is on the back cover. The other rules are on the front cover, why put these two on the back when you can put them up front with the others? I decided that I would test out this thirteen-day rule. And it obviously is false. I do not plan to test the other rule, if that makes you feel any better."

The others continued to growl and mutter as L turned his murky gaze on Light. "But since we have discovered the thirteen-day rule to be false, Light Yagami and Misa Amane's names are no longer clear. I would like to put them both back under surveillance."

Soichiro Yagami lurched forward, putting a hand protectively on Light's shoulder. "Ryuzaki, really! You had him under surveillance for over a month all told, are you not satisfied?"

L looked rueful. "I am afraid not."

* * *

"If I didn't know better I'd think you did this just so you could get us chained back together." Light remarked caustically, twitching his wrist to rattle the chain.

"I really didn't want to do this, Light." The older man said, his face in a stony mask. "But now that I know the thirteen-day rule is fake I can't let you go free."

Light sighed heavily, shaking his head. "You really are too stubborn. When are you going to let go of your suspicion?"

"As soon as I'm completely sure you aren't Kira. Which at this point isn't looking good." He turned to Light, a plaintive gleam in his dark eyes. "I don't want you to be Kira. I really don't. I swore to put Kira to death, and I don't want my lover's death on my hands."

Light mentally kicked himself. He continued kicking himself until he went to sleep that night, and continued once he was lucid enough to think properly the next morning.

As he dried off from his shower, he glanced at the ever-present Rem. Desperate times call for desperate measures. "Rem, make the trade." He was past caring at that point. No matter how much time he had left, it wasn't much, since soon L would catch him and it would be all over. He had no doubt that L would put his own sense of justice before his feelings; Light had planned to do the same. He still had that piece of note in his watch, he could flip it over and write down the name once he knew it. Obviously Rem was too scared to do it.

'_**So you've decided to take it into your own hands,'**_ she commented.

"No thanks to you." Light spat.


	4. Tearful Goodbye

**Last chapter, finally!**

* * *

For once, L managed to drag Light out of bed relatively early. He'd been rather weirded-out by Light's behavior the past day or two. He'd had such a triumphant smirk on his face that one morning, a smirk that he didn't bother to hide, that L was immediately on his guard.

He was mostly convinced that Light was Kira. So maybe Light had gained the ability to only need a face. In that case, L was dead meat. But Light didn't have the notebook. Then again, you didn't need the whole thing to kill. So he kept a wary eye on Light, and if it looked like he was turning away to do something without being seen, he'd always interrupt.

Light was looking increasingly irritated. And he was. Every attempt he made to turn away and use the scrap of paper in his watch, L was there looking over his shoulder.

But now, L had decided to confront his erstwhile captive. "Light," He began, tugging on the chain to ensure Light's attention. The young man blinked sleepily at him, with more than a touch of irritation. "What?"

"Please, I'd like to end this. Nothing you've done these past few days has decreased my suspicion, and a lot of how you've been acting has increased it. I really don't want you to be Kira, but all the evidence remains pointing to you and I can't ignore it any longer. Make it easier on both of us."

Light frowned irritably at L, hiding his desire to go into a semi-sane rant. "What are you talking about, Ryuzaki? How many times do I have to tell you, I'm not Kira!"

"I know you well enough now to know when you're lying. You're better than most at masking your emotions, but I can still see through it." The older man kept his face carefully passive, though he wanted to pin Light to the wall and demand why, or to break into tears, or to pull the impossible young man into his arms and make it all go away. He wanted to do _something_, but he only sat there facing Light, his murky gaze studiously impassive.

_This time I know I'm right, but I'd rather be wrong. There's none of the usual rush of elation when I know I've solved the case. It was stupid to let myself fall for my prime suspect, but the fact remains that this is going to be hard._

Light closed his eyes slowly, heaving a heavy sigh. "If you're that good at reading me, then you'd have figured out by now that I only need a face. It was foolish of me to let you figure that much out, but I can't really change that now, can I?"

"Of course. Why do you think I've been looking over your shoulder all the time?" He chuckled nervously.

* * *

They looked up as a few of the task-force trickled into the room. Light leaned back in his chair, propping one elbow on the chair arm and resting his brown in his fingers, a screen of auburn hair obscuring his eyes. L looked up with a sad expression at the others.

"I have news, everyone. It depends on your point of view whether it's good or bad." At this comment their curiosity was aroused, and they gave him their full attention. "We have Kira."

They all broke into relieved grins and cheered, though Soichiro sobered quickly and asked L with a slightly worried tone, "That's wonderful news, why would you say that it's bad?"

At the same time, Matsuda turned to L, grinning from ear to ear. "So who's Kira?"

L took a deep breath, his shaggy mop of black hair falling into his eyes as he looked dejectedly at his folded hands. He nerved himself up to speak, trying to force himself to admit that his lover was Kira.

"What's up, Ryuzaki?" Matsuda said, his face falling. "Did you hear me?" He looked over as Soichiro put a hand on his shoulder. "Ryuzaki, tell us who Kira is." The man almost growled.

"One would think that you bright sparks would have figured it out by now." Light commented with a half-sneer.

Soichiro's face looked stormy. Matsuda backed up a pace, switching an alarmed gaze between the former police chief and the two men sitting in swivel chairs.

Suddenly, Soichiro stepped forward, standing before Light's chair. "Light, please tell me this isn't true." The young man looked mildly into his father's distressed features. "If I did that I'd be lying, and at this point lying will get me nowhere."

Mogi and Aizawa stepped forward with stony expressions, making sure Soichiro didn't collapse. They led him to the couch and gently set him down.

"Rem-san," L said, glancing over at the shinigami.

'_**Yes?'**_

"We already know that Light is Kira and the thirteen-day rule is fake, but perhaps you can clear up some details for us."

'… _**since you've already figured most of it out, I don't see why you need to ask me.'**_

"True, but just humor me this time please."

'_**Fine.'**_

"The other rule on the back page, the one about everyone who touched the notebook dying if it is destroyed, is that one fake?"

'_**Yes.'**_

"Who wrote them there?"

Rem glanced at Light, who was scowling openly at her. _**'A shinigami did. Not me, the first shinigami to own that notebook.'**_

"I see. Would that shinigami be attached to Amane's notebook?"

Rem hesitated. _**'… Yes.'**_

"So Amane is the second Kira."

Light snorted. "You didn't really need to question Rem to figure that out, Ryuzaki."

"I just want to be sure. Accusing someone of being Kira is a serious charge, I don't want to find out too late that I made a mistake. I already have as good as a straight-out confession from you, and I want a conclusive verdict from someone else to be sure that the other person I convict is the right one." The other task-force members who had managed to keep their composure nodded in assent.

* * *

"So, can someone please go bring Amane in?" L looked to Mogi, who nodded and got up to fetch the young woman. She was ushered in, and immediately sensed the tension.

"Misa Amane, are you the second Kira?" L said impassively.

"What, this again? I've told you a million times, I'm not Kira!"

"Oh, piss off, Ryuzaki." Light snapped. "You just said you had all the evidence you needed. Why the hell are you asking when you know the answer?"

Misa blinked, her eyes wide. "Light, what's going on?"

"It's up, Misa. He caught us." Light growled, scowling at L's emotionless face.

"I am sorry, but getting a straight confession will make everything easier." L said, stoically ignoring Light's hate-filled eyes boring holes into the side of his head. At first he'd been hurt, but he'd quickly realized that the one glaring as if he wanted to strangle him wasn't Light. Well, not the one he knew. This was, L thought, the real Kira. Kira was glaring at him, not Light.

Misa looked between L's passive face, Light's evil scowl, and a resigned-looking Rem. "… Yes. I am the second Kira."

"And Light is Kira, yes?"

She nodded wordlessly.

"So you are possessed by a different shinigami. May I see it?" L inclined his head slightly, ignoring Misa's surprise. She blinked and gestured to the rooms she'd been housed in. "I have a few pages from my notebook in there, none on me."

Light looked up sharply. "You brought pieces of it with you into confinement?" He growled.

"I couldn't help it! I kept the pages on me like you told me, and I had them when these guys took me back in here." She cringed slightly, fixing her wide eyes on Light with a hurt expression.

L waved at Light. "Please settle down, Light. Mogi, will you accompany Amane to her rooms to get the pages?"

She brought them back and handed one to L. He gingerly held the page, then looked up at Ryuk. "Hello. Nice to meet you."

Ryuk chuckled. _**'Same here. I'm Ryuk.'**_

"And you can just call me L, Ryuk." He looked up at the other members of the task-force. "I suggest the rest of you come touch this page so you all can see him."

L offered Light the page, but he waved it away. "I can see him, Ryuzaki."

'_**Hyuk hyuk, and now everyone else can. Quite the mess you've gotten yourself into now, Light.'**_ Ryuk chuckled.

"Shut up." Light snapped, glaring irritably at the shinigami.

'_**Hey, your life-span is shorter. I thought you didn't want to make the eye trade?'**_

"Didn't really do me any good," Light remarked bitterly. "I can see this bastard's name but I can't write it down! I'm headed for death row anyway, so the point is pretty much moot."

L blinked, puzzled. "This eye trade, Higuchi mentioned it in the car."

'_**Yes. Half the human's life-span for a shinigami's ability to see their name and life-span when you look at a human's face.'**_ Ryuk commented, tilting his head so that light flashed off his eyes eerily, his ghoulish fixed grin broadening slightly as he chuckled.

"Ah, so that's how it's done. I can assume you have this ability, Amane?" L looked at Misa, who nodded.

"Well. I'm glad neither of you are capable of writing into the notebook at the moment," He said with a nervous smile. "Or else I'd be dead."

* * *

'_**Just so we have everything clear, these two are going to be executed, right?'**_ Ryuk asked.

"Yes." L said, wincing ruefully.

'_**How soon?'**_

Light snorted. "Bored already, Ryuk?"

'_**That, and remember that when you first picked up that note, I said that when you died I'd be the one writing your name into my notebook.'**_ Ryuk chuckled.

"Well, it depends on how quickly we can set up the trial and get it over with." L said, ignoring Ryuk's cryptic reply.

"Wait a minute." Soichiro said, his voice hoarse. "Didn't you mention passing the power on and losing memory of it?"

'_**If a human gives up possession of a notebook, all their memories of it are removed. They get them back as long as they're touching a notebook they once owned, but if they don't own that notebook right then the memories only last while they keep the contact.'**_ Rem said from the corner.

Soichiro stood shakily, his eyes wide. L held up a hand to forestall the comment. "You're saying that Light and Amane could give up the notebooks and lose their memories. I believe, and correct me if I'm wrong, Light, that they both gave up their notebooks sometime during their confinement and recently got possession back."

Misa nodded when L turned a mildly inquisitive gaze on her. He looked over at Light, who was still glaring daggers at him. His glare was slightly weaker, though, and laced with desperation as he twitched his head once, in a movement that resembled a nod enough to confirm L's statement.

"While it's true that even though I swore to put Kira to death, having my two friends being Kira changes my opinion. Knowing that they could give up the ability and memories, part of me wants to say that they can do this and let them off,"

"So do it!" Soichiro staggered a pace forward, and had to be supported by the stolid Mogi.

"However," L said with a heavy sigh. "since they both got their memories back, it tells me that if they give it up now it could be set up in a way that the notebooks would come back to them. I know how clever and sly Light is, and if he's done it once I have no doubt that he could do the same thing again."

Light snorted caustically. "At this point, I'm backed up into a corner. I can't say what either of those two," he pointed at Rem and Ryuk, "would do if they got the notebooks back, but the chances are absurdly slim that either one of the notebooks would make its way back to either myself or Misa. As trapped as we are at the moment, it's close enough to impossible to set it up to get the back that I'd rather not waste my energy trying." He shook his head. "If I wasn't smart enough to know that vehemently denying the fact and going into a rant would get me nowhere, that's exactly what I'd be doing. But by now, I know I've been caught." He looked up, his brown eyes filled with such a look of defeat and hopelessness that L almost fell for the trap.

* * *

"That's probably the biggest lie I've ever heard you tell." L remarked. "I know you, Light. You're too stubborn and determined to give up."

Light scowled. "Fine, but you obviously realize that I can't move to save my own ass at this point."

L inclined his head slightly, fixing his mild murky gaze on Light. "This is true. I can't think of anything you could do that would take you far, and several things that would just make it worse."

"So since they can't do anything, let them lose their memories and be done with it!" Soichiro said, looking about ready to collapsed onto his knees and beg.

L winced. He was torn between his sense of justice which demanded that they be put to death, and his desire to not be responsible for the deaths of his lover and friends.

Misa looked pleadingly at L. "Please, Ryuzaki? You said yourself that I'm your friend, and that Light is your friend. If we give up our notebooks we lose our memories, and by then we stop being Kiras."

L sighed heavily. "If we decide to do that, it begs the question of what in the world do we tell the public?"

"Don't tell them anything. Just let Kira and the second Kira disappear, and close the case." Soichiro said, sounding less on the verge of a break-down.

L looked at the other members of the task-force. "What do the rest of you think?"

Matsuda wore a strained expression. "I think that's what you should do."

Mogi agreed. Aizawa hesitated, staring at the floor as he debated with himself. "Well… I don't know. Something in me still thinks that no matter what these two are responsible for all those deaths, even if they don't remember them."

He looked up, wincing slightly at the desperate look Soichiro gave him. "Just call me neutral." He said.

L pondered, then looked from Misa to Light. "My desire to hold on to my two friends, and to keep Yagami-san from giving me that look anymore, is winning out." He said, trying to ignore Soichiro's pleading stare. "If I offered you the option, would you give up your notebooks?"

Misa looked to Light. "I will if Light will." She said. "If he's willing to give it up, Misa will follow him. But if he goes to death row, I'll go too." She bit her lip.

L too turned his gaze to the auburn-haired young man. "So it's all to you then, Light."

The brown eyes glared hotly at L. But behind the burning hatred, L saw a gleam of desperation. He could tell that Kira would drag him to the death sentence gladly, but the Light that he knew longed to be rid of Kira.

Several tense minutes dragged on, the silence cloying and as it weighed down on them all like a heavy hand. Something in Light's eyes finally seemed to snap and he snarled. "Rem, once it's unlocked take your stupid notebook back."

L took the notebook from its hiding place, holding onto it until Misa and Mogi got back from digging up her notebook. L kept a wary eye as Light took the notebook and just barely stopped himself from throwing it at Rem. Misa handed her notebook back to Ryuk with a sunny smile and a wave.

* * *

"So… I really was Kira?" Light said with a perplexed look.

"You think I'd make that up?" L blinked with a slightly scathing expression.

"I wouldn't put it past you." Light immediately regretted that comment. The look of hurt that briefly flashed in L's eyes told the young man in no uncertain terms that that had been the wrong thing to say.

"No, I didn't make it up." L said, returning his face and eyes to their usual opaque state. "And the rest of the task force can back me up."

Light glanced at his father, who still looked shaky as he nodded slowly. "I really don't know what to say… not much you can say to that." He remarked, rubbing a hand across the back of his neck.

Misa scooted closer, cuddling up against Light. "So don't say anything! At least now we're clear of suspicion and we can go on proper dates, Light."

The young man suppressed a grimace. Looked like it was now or never. "Look, Misa. I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I don't like you that way."

Misa pulled back, tears beading in the corners of her eyes. "B-but, Light…"

Light looked about as contrite as anyone had ever seen him. "I'm really sorry, Misa. You never really had a chance."

Disbelief was written across her face. "Wh-what? What do you mean, Light?" She tried unsuccessfully to stifle the tears now rolling down her cheeks. "I never had a chance…" She noticed the slight, embarrassed blush that colored Light's face and balked further. "You… you mean, you're…"

He nodded wordlessly, head tilted down so that his bangs obscured his face. L just stopped himself from pulling Light into his arms. That would ruin it.

"Light, what are you saying?" Soichiro said softly, inclining his head. Light tried not to wince, and failed. "I'm saying that I'm gay."

Misa choked back a sob and dashed from the room. L waved a hand at the task-force members who had started to go after her. "Let her go, the poor girl."

Light tilted his head slightly until Misa had disappeared from sight and sighed heavily. "Aw, man. I hope she doesn't do anything drastic… I wish I hadn't had to let her down like that."

"But you can't really help it," Soichiro said, putting a hand on Light's shoulder. "and I'm sorry that you had to do that. It's probably better that she knows the truth." Light nodded.

Matsuda blinked, still trying to process the new discovery. "So… okay." He looked about to ask a question, but didn't.

* * *

L looked around, pitching his voice to wake everyone up from their private reveries as he spoke. "Well, since Kira is technically no more, we can say the case is closed. Thank you all for your help."

The task force who were living in the building all packed up their things within the next day, and they moved back to their homes. They all said good-bye to L, and went back to their normal lives.

"So Light, are you going to live with your family again, or get your own apartment?" Matsuda asked with a smile.

"Actually," Light said, glancing at his father. "I think I'd like to rent an apartment."

Soichiro pondered the comment and shrugged. "I see no reason why I can't get my son an apartment. Being a college student, it makes sense."

No one asked where L would go, they assumed that he'd go back to whatever he did between cases. No one, but Light.

"I don't know, really." L said with a thoughtful frown.

Light leaned close, whispering in the older man's ear, "Want to share my apartment?" L's eyebrows raised slightly in a silent query.

"A one-bedroom is more than enough room for two people." Light grinned. "My father doesn't have to be the wiser if we care not to tell him."

L smiled slightly. "Works for me."

* * *

**And here's where I stop before my Muse goes nuts. A bit fluffier than I intended the ending to be, but oh well.**

**Hope you liked it! –bow-**

**And if this 'fic seems a bit more OOC than my others, I wrote the bulk of the first two chapters before I'd re-read the volumes of manga, and the personalities sorta stick throughout the story. So yeah.**

**Now that I'm finished, please review it if you haven't! All comments and constructive criticism help me write better. **


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